How St. Joseph's House Changed My Life
by Ernest Garcia

Sometimes, when we try to run from God or stubbornly stay opposed to Him, He chases after us and finds a way to bring us close to Him. In my case, He used St. Joseph’s House to break through the huge barriers that were keeping me from Him, even if it meant completely transforming my mind and heart. Because of the love the Kurtz family has given me, my whole life has changed, and, for the past year and a half, I have experienced true happiness for the first time. 

I clearly remember my life before I came here, when I was anything but happy. My parents lived a very disunited marriage, and I later found out that, at some point, they were divorced.  Since early childhood, I had to see and hear their intense verbal and, sometimes, physical quarrels. Growing up, I saw my dad about three times a week and, eventually, only once a week. He wasn't always there when I needed him and he never used his authority to set things right when things went wrong. My mother tried hard to take care of me, but, although she was very religious, she was an extremely over-protective parent, who made many irrational decisions out of pride and fear. No matter what house I lived in, I never felt at home. I always longed for a normal, peaceful, stable family life, with parents who would always be there, who would always be reasonable, and who would always love each other. Because of the bitter discontent I had over my life, especially from the decisions my mother was making for me and the way she was raising me, anger was instigated within me even before my teenage years. In eighth grade, I began doing poorly in school and failing classes, for my grades were the one significant thing that I had control over to oppose my mother’s will. By the time I turned 14, my intensified anger turned me into a rebellious, anti-Christian, Satanist. Everything I stood for and everything I believed revolved around my impassioned hatred for my mother and the God she worshiped and tried to make me bow down to. I was a slave of Satan, and I explicitly showed it with my dress, drawings, words, and actions. My “religion” consisted of Diabolic Heavy Metal music, pornography, and the electric guitar. My ambition in life was to be everything my mother and God did not want me to be. I swore to never worship God and to never forgive my mother for the way she used her legal authority over me.

After sending me to two different places to live without any positive change in my character, my mother desperately asked Mr. And Mrs. Kurtz to take me into their household of 18 children. In Christian charity and acceptance to God’s will, they welcomed me into their home. Because I had to do without any like-minded peers and I had to take part (at least physically) in their devotedly Catholic Faith- centered life, detached from the world and all of its evil aspects that I valued most, I despised everything about my new environment. Even though I felt alone and depressed, I refused to be one of them and to allow myself to become “brainwashed.” I just closed myself inside my little world of anger, while living what seemed to be a pointless life with no meaning.  

From the very beginning, Mr. And Mrs. Kurtz always showed loving kindness and care for me, even with my negative attitude and the things I did behind their backs. They definitely saw me as a child of God who was sent to them to be another addition to their large family. No matter what I did that hurt the family, whether it was being a terrible example to the younger boys or degrading St. Joseph’s House’s and their  reputation with my twisting negative words, they always forgave me and did not cease to show kindness and love toward me as a member of the family. Their individual attention and concern for all of their children, including me, not only provided for all my physical needs, but also prevented me from further doing poorly in school. What really began the change in my life was when I began to see that they were starting to have real parental affection for me as a spiritually adopted son. When I gave them fake apologies for my actions and fake signs of affection, in return, they gave me true forgiveness and such great love and affection that I could not deny was true. They actually wanted to hear what I had to say and understood how I felt, and I could not help but be emotionally touched by how they saw my ingratitude for all the things they were doing for me and my contempt toward their faith, and still loved me. Every sign of affection they gave me sparked within me a new strange emotion, which I fought off for as long as I could, for I realized it was making me think and act in a different way and was turning me against everything I stood for. But eventually, as they kept showing their love and as the emotion kept getting stronger, it was too hard and pointless to hold on to my anger, and I had to let go of it. I acknowledged the fact that I loved them as my parents, that I did not have much reason to be angry anymore, and that I was finally “brainwashed.”

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Once I let go of my anger and surrendered to their love, I was free to forgive, to open up to new relationships, to admit that I was wrong, and realize the truth about God and His infinite goodness and love.  In my heart, I allowed Mr. And Mrs. Kurtz to become my new father and mother and their eighteen children to become my ten brothers and eight sisters. For the first time, I willingly did small tasks to serve to the family and began thinking more of others. I decided to call my birth mother to apologize for the way I treated her and to forgive her for everything I held against her, which was probably the most difficult and the most liberating moment of my life. I actually repented to God of all my sins and made my first genuine confession. I began praying to God, receiving Him at Holy Communion and spending time with Him in the Blessed Sacrament. I finally found what I was always looking for: a healthy, well-ordered family life, parents who love each other, an authoritative and dependable father figure who is always here, a very rational and prudent mother who understands and listens to her children, and, most of all, a relationship with God. For the first time, I felt true happiness and I was where I wanted to be. It was here, in St. Joseph’s House, where I finally felt at home. 

Not only has St. Joseph’s House benefited me spiritually and emotionally, but also academically. I was never fully aware of my intellectual abilities until I came here, where they made sure I wasn’t doing worse than I was capable of. Attending St. Philomena’s Academy, the school my guardians started and manage, has been a great blessing. In SPA, the students follow an excellent curriculum that teaches them to know the Catholic faith in depth and to become critical thinkers. We are taught by volunteer teachers who teach well and really care about what their students learn. School days are only twice a week, so we also learn how to study independently. Through SPA, St. Joseph’s House is giving me an education that will greatly benefit me for this life and the next. 
             

I am now 17 years old and, although I still have many vices and inclinations to sin, now I am at least acknowledging my faults and fighting against my sinful inclinations. Unlike before, I am trying use the graces made available to me at daily mass and rosary, with spiritual reading, and Eucharistic adoration. I am trying live in the light of truth, to do God’s will and to know His will for my life, and to develop a strong love for Christ. Maintaining good grades is still a struggle, since I am now a senior in high school and I am still making up for my past academic performance, but I know it is what God wants me to do now. Although most young people would consider my life to be a boring  “low life”, never going out with friends, not aloud to watch TV or listen to secular music, not seeing any new movies, not being in any sports team, being schooled at home, or not having things like an I-pod or an X-Box, I feel as if I was more privileged than almost any other teenager in America. I have 18 brothers and sisters, I have the full truth of the Catholic faith, I have all the means available to me to grow in holiness and virtue, I have many opportunities to do good for others in my own home, I am given an outstanding education, I have the best parents in the world, and I live in a family life that is completely centered on God, Which is what this life should be all about.
      
It was God’s infinite love and mercy that brought me here to this blessed family. By sending me to St. Joseph’s House, God saved me from a life of misery and the eternal fire I was running into and brought me to close to Him. I owe everything to Him and my spiritual parents, John and Donna Kurtz. If it weren't for them, I cannot even imagine where I would be now. I am so grateful for what they have done and what they are doing for me, for opening my eyes to the truth, for enabling me to be truly happy, and for giving me a home. It is their humble submission to God’s will, their selfless and compassionate love for others, and their strong faith and devotion to God that changed my life and the lives of so many others. It takes great charity to provide for the needs of 19 children, especially if many of them have special needs or some kind of disorder.  Yet, their charity is so great that it reaches out even beyond their own children to other individuals in need and many other families through St. Philomena’s Academy. At St. Joseph’s House, one can clearly see the hand of God at work, and, in all honesty, there is no other place in the world I would rather live.